Hubba Hubba
by Cronomon
Summary: Yoshiko's into Ruby; Ruby's into Yoshiko. Dia's not happy about this, and Mari's way too happy. Kanan figures she's just there for the ride. YohaRuby, KanaDiaMari(?), and Kurosawa sisterly bonding.


Dia wondered sometimes if she should have seen it coming.

The hints had all been there, every single one lying in plain sight for her to spot and seize and stop. Indeed, when she really paused to think it over, they'd been there ever since the beginning.

Ever since Dia had been forced to watch that monstrosity of a video where her little sister, the one and only Kurosawa Ruby, had dressed up in some sort of over-the-top Gothic fashion, acted completely unbecoming of one carrying the blood of the Kurosawa family, and then, of all things, _dabbed_ in front of a camera.

All for the sake of the student called Tsushima Yoshiko.

But Dia, the fool she was, hadn't focused on that part. No, she'd focused on completely the wrong thing — the formation of the very idol group she inevitably found herself a part of a couple weeks later anyway. And what was the result of that misdirected attention?

Simple.

 _Tsushima Yoshiko had an undeniable crush on her little sister, and Dia was loathe to believe that Ruby actually liked her back._

* * *

Dia was ashamed to admit that she hadn't even been the first one to figure it out.

It was Mari, of all people.

She'd waltzed into the student council office, as she was wont to do, looking far too much like the cat who'd gotten the cream, and the mouse, and a belly rub — in other words, so pleased that Dia immediately knew something about her world was about to shatter.

"You'll never _believe_ what I just found out," Mari all but sang as she approached Dia's desk.

"I don't care," Dia told her, but Mari had a remarkable ability to ignore everything and anything a person said.

"Oh no? Not even when it concerns none other than your very own little sister — that's right — _Kurosawa Ruby_?"

The pencil in Dia's hand snapped.

At that, even Mari leaned away a little, although her easygoing smile was ever-present. She seemed about to continue, clearly unconcerned for her own safety and well-being, when Kanan strode into the room.

"I tried to stop her," Kanan offered, sounding only mildly apologetic.

"Did you," Dia replied dully.

"Maybe not as much as I should have," Kanan admitted with far too much ease. "But, hey, you might like to know it, too."

"What I would like to know," Dia responded, already turning to glare at Mari, "is why you told Kanan news concerning Ruby before me."

Mari waved a hand dismissively. Kanan shrugged.

Dia had half a mind to send them out right then and there, but she also had a feeling that neither of them would listen anyway. So instead, she exhaled slowly, closed her eyes, counted to five in her head, and then opened her eyes again.

"Okay. What happened to Ruby?"

Kanan grabbed onto Mari's shoulder, supposedly to stop her from acting too over-the-top, but, alas, it was too late.

Mari declared, with way too much delight in her voice, "Our little Yoshiko-chan has a crush on her!"

* * *

Dia liked to think that she handled the situation fairly well after that.

* * *

"Is that so?" Dia set down the remains of the pencil in her hand. "In that case, the solution is simple. Kanan, remind me, is two-week-long truancy severe enough to warrant expulsion?"

"Your sense of humor's really gotten twisted, hasn't it," Kanan replied dryly. "Anyway, you already told her that she's off the hook for it, so you can't exactly go back on your word now."

Dia nodded, undeterred considering the millions of other possibilities already running through her head. "In that case, perhaps we could force a truancy on her part."

"Why go through that kind of trouble when you could just get rid of her altogether?" Mari quipped.

Kanan shoved her. Dia's eyes lit up.

"Dia, you're not going to kill a first-year just because she has a crush on your sister," Kanan said.

Dia replied, very maturely, "You can't tell me what to do."

* * *

It was a good thing, perhaps, that at that moment, Chika had burst in, complaining loudly about how practice had started _ages_ ago and they still weren't there.

Kanan was the first to act, offering a lighthearted apology and promising that they would be right over.

Mari took the opportunity to dash away.

Dia really kind of wanted to just put her head down on the table and sigh for all eternity, but that was unbecoming of the student council president and eldest daughter of the Kurosawa family, so she just stood up and went to get her practice clothes.

* * *

In between changing and arriving to practice, Dia had managed to calm down, or as much as she considered to be calm. After all, she reasoned, it was entirely possible that Mari had been exaggerating, or even making the whole thing up, just to get a rise out of Dia. She wouldn't put it past her old friend.

Practice itself brutally dispelled that notion.

Ruby almost tripped in the middle of a spin, but Yoshiko grabbed her arm in a flash, holding her until she regained her balance, and maybe would have continued to do so a little longer after that had she not suddenly seemed to realize what exactly she was doing and recoiled immediately.

Dia felt an interesting conflict of satisfaction ( _yes, that's right, away, away_ ) and fury ( _is my little sister not good enough to be touched?!_ )

And then, as though to rub salt in the wound…

"Th-thanks, Yohane-chan."

 _Why is Ruby blushing?_

Yoshiko struck one of her poses with a hastily-plastered smile, clearly trying to cover up her own embarrassment. "There is no need to mention it. After all, it is the duty of a fallen angel to look after her little demons!"

Dia tried not to cringe. She looked back at Ruby to see her reaction and almost threw a fit.

 _Why is Ruby sparkling like that?! She can't possibly think that was cool!_

"You're being ridiculous," Kanan whispered to her when the others weren't listening.

Dia looked at her blankly. "My little sister is reciprocating the feelings of a girl who believes she was cast out from the heavens and has descended to Hell, and you're calling me ridiculous?"

Kanan shrugged. "Well, you can't be so overprotective forever."

* * *

Dia gathered Kanan and Mari after practice to discuss their plan of attack, but they were promptly interrupted by Ruby, who had an odd look of determination on her face.

"Onee-chan! Is it okay if I go to Yohane-chan's house tonight? I promise I'll be back before it gets too late!"

Kanan immediately grabbed Mari to cover her mouth. Dia was still as stone.

Apparently not noticing any of this, Ruby went on. "It's just that, we have a test coming up, and Yohane-chan is kind of really bad with studying! I think it's because she's so busy with all her demon stuff, you know? So Maru-chan offered to hold a study group, and Yohane-chan offered her place, and I think it would really help me, too, so…"

Dia still hadn't moved. Mari was barely breathing in her attempt to conceal her laughter. Kanan smiled blandly.

Ruby wasn't done yet. She cleared her throat and took a few quick breaths. Then, with wide eyes and a trembling voice, she clasped her hands in front of her, tilted her head slightly, and asked, "Pretty please, Onee-chan?"

Dia's resolve crumbled in an instant. "… You will be home no later than eight."

Mari was turning purple at this point. Unconcerned by this, Ruby cheered, hugged her sister, and scurried away.

Dia turned back to her friends with a level gaze. "Not a word. From either of you."

* * *

Since Mari apparently had a death wish at any given point in time, she immediately had a word to say.

* * *

"Oooh, things are gonna get saucy." Mari wiggled her eyebrows in a way that didn't seem entirely necessary (or possible, for that matter). She leaned over to elbow Dia a couple times. "Ruby's gonna get some~ Like, hubba hubba, am I right?"

Kanan looked both amused and horrified. "Oh my god."

Dia grabbed Mari by the collar. "Say your farewells. I'm going to kill you."

* * *

It took a few minutes, but Kanan eventually managed to pry them apart.

There was some redness around Mari's throat; she took it in stride with a flashy peace sign and oblivious grin. "It's jo—!"

"Don't say it," Dia hissed. "Don't you dare say it."

" _Anyway_ ," Kanan said, with all the patience of one who has lived through almost a decade of this. "So Ruby's going to Yoshiko's place. They're just studying, and besides, Hanamaru's gonna be there. You trust Hanamaru, right?"

Dia fixed her with a long-suffering stare. Kanan already understood the error of her words.

Mari clapped her hands. "Let's all say it together now!" She spoke slowly, like a grade-school teacher trying to impart a lesson on her class. "Hanamaru will definitely do everything in her power to set up Ruby and Yoshiko."

Kanan had joined her half-heartedly. Dia had already left.

* * *

Yoshiko's house phone rang in the middle of math review. She perked up, all too eager for a break from the hell that was algebra, but Hanamaru cuffed her head gently.

"You're staying here," Hanamaru told her. "I'll get it."

Yoshiko looked skeptical. "Do you even know how to answer a phone?"

"I can get it," Ruby offered.

"No," Hanamaru said. She stood up and looked at her friends. "I will get it. You two stay here and… math away."

Yoshiko frowned and ducked back down to her worksheet. Hanamaru winked at Ruby, who barely managed to hold back a shocked squeal, and then marched out of the room in the direction of the incessantly ringing phone.

Luckily, it was one of the phones she was used to — with those huge, fun cords dangling out and everything. She picked it up happily and said, "Hello, this is the Tsushima residence."

" _Hanamaru!_ " Dia's voice wasn't entirely unexpected, but it was certainly loud.

Hanamaru winced at the sheer volume. "Hi."

" _I tried calling your cell countless times in the past hour! What happened?_ "

"Oh, I think it's broken."

" _You just got it last week!_ "

Hanamaru nodded. "Yeah, and I used it a bunch, right? It was a lot of fun being able to text Ruby-chan and Yoshiko-chan. But the thing is, now it doesn't turn on, no matter how many buttons I press. I left it at home for today." She paused thoughtfully. "Do you want to take a look at it later?"

" _I want Ruby to explain to you the concept of charging a phone._ "

"Is the phone going to pay me?"

Dia's sigh lasted for a very long time.

Hanamaru continued obliviously, "So is there a reason you called? Do you want me to get Ruby?"

" _Absolutely not._ " Dia's voice was adamant. " _Rather, I want you to promise me something, on the honor of Azalea_."

Hanamaru hummed. "That sounds very important."

" _It is. I want you to promise me that you will do everything in your power to keep Ruby and Yoshiko away from each other during this study session._ "

"Oh." Hanamaru thought this over for a moment. "No."

" _Excuse me—?_ "

"Sorry! I still want to be part of Azalea, though, if that's alright," Hanamaru said in a cheerful voice. "Anyway, I should really get back to Yoshiko's room. I had to leave them there, all alone, for the sake of taking this call, and, well, who knows what kind of stuff they could've gotten up to in these past five minutes."

" _… Frankly, Hanamaru, I am disgusted by the act you put on when you're not in front of just me and Kanan._ "

Hanamaru beamed. "I'll see you tomorrow then!" And with that, she hung up and headed back to the room.

* * *

Dia stared at her phone in a fuming rage. "The nerve of that girl!"

Kanan, apparently finding this the funniest thing in the world, was downright wheezing. "I love her."

"I don't," Dia said shortly. She gave Kanan a withering look. "Whose side are you on, anyway?"

Kanan replied in a pleasant tone, "The side that makes everyone happiest."

* * *

While Hanamaru was gone, Yoshiko came across a particularly difficult problem, and was currently in the process of working up the courage to ask Ruby for help.

 _It's one thing if it's Zuramaru, but…_

Not that Yoshiko really knew what was all that different about it. She scrunched up her face and tried to look at the problem from a different angle. When that proved useless, she peeked upwards to see how Ruby was faring in these trying times.

Her face burned when she realized Ruby had quickly looked away the moment Yoshiko had glanced up. Yoshiko immediately dropped her gaze back down to her worksheet.

 _What the heck! Why is this so awkward all of a sudden?_

In a desperate attempt to ease the tension, she blurted out, "Math sure sucks, huh?"

At the same time, Ruby stammered, "I-is everything going okay?"

They both stopped when they heard the other speak. Ruby's face was as red as her hair, and Yoshiko was positive she wasn't looking any better.

"C-could be worse," she tried again.

Ruby said simultaneously, "I'm having a hard time, too."

They both groaned when they realized what had happened. Then, as if on cue, they started giggling. Ruby tried to cover her laughter with a hand, but Yoshiko was smiling broadly.

"We're kind of a mess, huh?" Yoshiko said, and her tone was more affectionate than she'd intended, but Ruby looked absolutely delighted by it.

"I guess so," she agreed, and the two shared a grin right as Hanamaru opened the door.

Yoshiko and Ruby immediately returned to their work.

Hanamaru paused and arched an eyebrow. "Am I… interrupting—?"

"Not at all!" Ruby said a little too loudly.

"Who was calling?" Yoshiko asked at the same time.

They exchanged a poorly-concealed knowing look. Hanamaru could have exploded out of sheer joy.

"No one important," Hanamaru assured them. She stepped further into the room only to start packing up her materials. "I just realized, I have some errands I have to run, so I'll be on my way. You two should stay here and finish up, okay?" Without waiting for a response, she shouldered her bag and began to head out. "Don't let me hold you back. Have fun and please make good choices!"

It took several seconds for her words to catch up to them. By the time they did, she was long gone.

Yoshiko yelled at the closed door in vain. "Hey! What exactly are you trying to say here, Zuramaru?"

Ruby just buried her face in her arms.

* * *

True to her word, Ruby arrived home at eight o'clock on the dot.

Unsurprisingly, Dia was there the moment she opened the door.

"I'm home," Ruby chirped. She set about heading inside and taking off her shoes.

"Welcome back," Dia said, stepping aside to make room for her. "How was studying?"

"It was good!" Ruby replied brightly. "We got a lot done." She brushed past her sister to go to the kitchen. "Wow, it smells good in here! Have you eaten already?"

Dia followed. "No. Have you?"

"Nope." Ruby turned to her with a smile that could probably save the world. "Let's eat together, Onee-chan."

Dia had _intended_ to use this time to interrogate her on what exactly had happened at Yoshiko's place, since God knew Hanamaru would be no help whatsoever. Instead, she took one look at that smile and melted on the spot.

* * *

"Sometimes," Kanan commented when Dia relayed this to her friends the next day, "you're a little too… you."

"What in the _world_ is that supposed to mean."

Kanan didn't respond. She and Mari shared a look that basically screamed pity. Dia kind of wanted to scream, too.

* * *

It got worse when, that weekend, Ruby actually visited her room (she hadn't done that in ages!), looked her straight in the eye (that too!), and said, "Onee-chan, have you ever been in love?"

In that moment, Dia was pretty sure she almost had a heart attack.

Ruby might have taken that strained look on her face as confirmation, because she nodded resolutely and marched inside to flop down on Dia's bed.

"W-why do you ask?" Dia's voice sounded like it was being strangled out of her throat.

Ruby didn't seem to notice as she hugged Dia's pillow to her chest and kicked her legs to a steady beat. She stared at the ceiling for a bit and then said, "I dunno."

Dia took a seat at her desk and waited.

"I think I might be in love," Ruby said. "But I'm not really sure."

Kanan's sagely words sounded in the back of Dia's mind. " _Dia, there comes a time in every big sister's life when she has to accept that her little sister is her own person and has her own life and can do her own things and stuff._ "

Still… wasn't this a little too soon?

(Dia had demanded afterwards what exactly Kanan knew about being a big sister anyway, but that was beside the point.)

"There's this… person," Ruby went on. "Well, she's kind of a person… I guess? That's not really important. But, I mean, anyway. Lately, whenever I see this person, I really feel like I want to smile a lot? And, um, actually, it's not even just when I see her… when I think about her, too, I start smiling, and it feels kind of dumb." She laughed a little at this.

Dia waited.

"And… when I look at her, it gets harder and harder to look away. I don't know… there's something really cool about her. But it's not just that! She's funny, and she can be really sweet, and it makes me really happy when she's all of that to me, and, um…" her voice dropped conspiratorially here, "sometimes, when she's like that to Maru-chan, I think I get a little jealous, which I feel really bad about! Because it's not like I'm the only person she's allowed to be nice and funny to, and I know that, and Maru-chan deserves nice and funny and the best things in the world! But I still…." Here, she trailed off and didn't speak again.

 _So this is it_ , Dia thought to herself. She had a sudden sense of resignation, of weariness and defeat, but somewhere in there… could it be called pride? _So this is what it means for your little sister to grow up._

"So I was thinking about all of that," Ruby finally continued, "and why I might be feeling all this stuff. And I thought… maybe I'm in love? Could that be it?" Her voice wavered slightly, and there was a small smile on her face. "But I don't really know." She stopped here. It was clear that she was finished.

Even so, it took several long moments for Dia to respond.

* * *

"I can't tell you what you're feeling," Dia finally said, "because I'm not you. But you've come a long way, figuring all this out on your own, and I'm proud of you. And if this… feeling towards this… person is something that you want to pursue, in whatever way you see fit, I will do everything in my power to support you." She paused. "I'll support you in whatever decision you make. That is my duty as your sister."

* * *

"You absolute hypocrite," Mari drawled the moment Dia walked into the school the next day.

"Not even Dia can say no when it comes to Kurosawa Ruby," Kanan chimed in, and Dia glowered at her because _what the hell, traitor, you were the one who told me to accept it_.

Instead of voicing the above, however, Dia simply sat at her desk, brushed some dust off her skirt, and said mildly, "I didn't realize the news had spread so quickly."

Kanan and Mari shared a look again — god, Dia hated when they did that — and then Mari turned and winked at her. It took some serious effort not to groan at that.

"Head to the roof during lunch," Mari said. "There's someone who wants to talk to you about something." She winked again, more meaningfully this time.

"I really don't want to," Dia replied.

But, when classes ended and noon rolled around, she inevitably got up and walked to the staircase anyway.

* * *

Standing in the center of the roof and striking a grand pose, the sort-of-last-person Dia wanted to see called out to her. "Kurosawa Dia! You have my gratitude for accepting my invitation on such short notice."

"What invitation," Dia grumbled, folding her arms sternly. "You just sent Mari to do it because you were too scared to ask me directly, right?"

Yoshiko flinched at that. Dia found herself taking some form of sadistic pleasure at the sight. In any case, she straightened her back and waited to see where this would go.

Finally gathering her wits again, Yoshiko cleared her throat and said, "Regardless, this is a matter of the utmost importance. For you see, I, the fallen angel Yohane, have finally found the light that beckons to me in the shadows of this world — the Chosen One, if you will — and in order for our contract to be officially formed, I require the authorization of—."

"For goodness' sake, speak properly," Dia snapped. "You want to ask about Ruby, right? Use your words!"

Yoshiko looked even more cowed than before. It was at this point that Dia noticed the younger girl's legs were shaking. Was it just because of Dia's words, or had she been this nervous the entire time?

Dia forced herself to relax a little. She let out a slow breath and then looked at Yoshiko once more. "Try again. Directly, this time."

Yoshiko hesitantly lowered her pose and stood up straight. Her fists clenched for just a moment as she tried to steel herself, and then finally she let them uncurl. Her gaze was fixed on the floor, and her jaw was set.

Dia waited. She idly thought to herself that she'd been doing this a lot, lately.

At last, Yoshiko faced her with a determined glint in her eyes. Raising her head high, she declared at the top of her lungs, "Kurosawa Dia! I, Tsushima Yoshiko, would like to ask for your permission to date your sister!"

* * *

Hiding just behind the door that led to the roof, Mari sniggered. "Talk about old-fashioned."

Beside her, Kanan shrugged. "Well, you were the one who told her to do that, weren't you?" She grinned when Mari turned to her in surprise. "Come on, don't look so shocked. Who do you think I am?"

Mari rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "Don't act so smug yourself. Who's the one who told Hanamaru not to listen to Dia no matter what?"

"Well," Kanan acknowledged with a breezy wave, "she would've done so anyway. When it comes to Ruby and Yoshiko, she has her own kind of determination, you know?"

Mari was silent for a moment as she absorbed this, and then she smiled, turning back to look at Dia once more. "Sounds kind of like us," she mused. She didn't have to see Kanan's face to know she agreed.

* * *

Outside, Dia gave no indication that she'd heard Yoshiko's request, save for tilting her head slightly and closing her eyes.

Yoshiko didn't budge.

Seconds that felt like hours passed by, and Yoshiko's legs were starting to shake again, but this was a trial, she was sure of it, and she refused to move until she passed it.

Finally, Dia opened her eyes again. Yoshiko stiffened instinctively but held her ground. After several more long moments, Dia nodded, just once.

"Very well. Do as you will."

Without waiting for a response, Dia promptly turned on her heel and walked away.

Yoshiko's legs almost gave out entirely.

* * *

As Dia exited the roof and headed down the stairs, she allowed herself the smallest smile at the sound of the wild cheer behind her.

* * *

"Not a word," Dia said sharply as she reentered her classroom.

Sitting at their desks with the audacity to pretend that they'd been there all along, Kanan and Mari only smiled innocently. For once, they listened, and Dia took her seat in peace. She took out her lunch and ate automatically, barely tasting the food, trying not to think about all the repercussions her decision might have caused.

"Aw, why the long face?" Kanan asked, leaning back in her chair to look at Dia fondly. "I think you did the right thing. Don't worry about it."

Dia grunted in response.

"I agree," Mari said. She wrapped her arms around Dia and bumped her head gently, her voice adopting a soft tone as she spoke. "I mean… hubba hubba, right?"

It took a while for even Kanan to get them to stop this time. A teacher may or may not have had to get involved towards the end. A more or less ordinary day for the three of them.

So it goes, Dia figured as she sat down once again, fixing her hair and uniform back in place. Kanan sighed, looking only a little exasperated. Mari flashed her stupid peace sign again.

Still, Dia supposed she wouldn't have it any other way. And if Ruby could feel for Yoshiko like Dia did for these two idiots, maybe — just maybe — giving Yoshiko her blessing wasn't such a bad idea after all.


End file.
